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Hey babe. Sorry. I have 2 cancel.I’ll txt u later.Fuck. Really! I can’t say I’m all that surprised, but well shit, couldn’t she have been quicker if she was gonna cancel on me again. It wasn’t really my kind of movie but fuck it, I’m not gonna waste my ticket. I’m gonna go see this rom-com. Because fuck I’m bummed yet so horny, maybe there will be some tits and ass that I can use later for a jerk off back at my ‘partment. Trying not to think about how sad and mad I was, I didn’t notice that right in front of me was my good buddy Jake and his fine ass girl Jen. It wasn’t until the line moved and I literally bumped into the taught backside of Jake causing him to turn to me and smile.“Dude, watch it. Oh Brent! Hey buddy.”“Oh Jake, I’m sorry, I zoned out for a second. Sorry.”“Its ok bro. You ok?”“Yeah, I’m al’ight. I just got distracted cuz Becky just txt’ed me and cancelled, again.”“Oh Brenty, sweetie! That sucks.” Jen added in softly. She was always so sweet and kind.“Yay, thanks Jen.. I corrected her, fearfully, not wanting to run off my first client with semantics.'What can I do for you, Miss...?" I'm Bertha, Bertha Snodgrass. (her name was as melodious as her appearance.) I need you to find a missing person,"...as she slid a photograph across the table slowly, like revealing an iffy poker hand.Peeking at it, suppressing the urge to scream, cry and/or vomit, I was looking at the ugliest woman ever seen outside a Grimm's fairy tale. Her toothless smile meant I could rule out dental records. She looked like the love child of Clint Howard and Joey Ramone! "Are you certain you WANT her found?" I asked, while fighting acid reflux. Her eyes bulged even more, if possible, as she yanked the gruesome photo from my trembling hand and screamed, "Of course, I want her found. SHE'S MY LOVER!" Then in a quieter moment, she whispered, "I'm a lesbian. Does that shock you?"Hoping to put her mind at ease, I mentioned I also play for her team. She glared, "Yeah, your flannel.
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